It's been a while since I've done one, so I thought I'd turn today's blogger challenge (Day 18: Five things that irritate you) into one of my "How To" posts.
HOW TO ANNOY ME:
- After seeing the outfit my daughter chose to wear to the grocery store, tell me that "allowing her to dress like that will be really embarrassing for her someday." If I knew we were openly passing judgement I might have pointed out how your stretch pants made you look like a total fatass. Lucky for you, I'm far too much of a lady to mention it.
- Offer to take out the garbage, but don't replace the liner in the trash can.
- Share a detailed account of your entire day on facebook. It's not that I don't care about what time you woke up, what you had for lunch, how many times you've used the bathroom or what color you're painting your fingernails... it's just that, well, actually it is that I don't care.
- Use the words their, there, and they're interchangeably.
- Stand with your shopping cart parked sideways across the grocery aisle, obliviously talking on your cell phone while I try to maneuver my cart around you, then give me a dirty look when I gently push the end of your cart out of the way so I can pass through.
HOW TO WOO ME:
- Send me a text message containing only the word "Boomshakalaka!"
- Arrange an entire date night (including babysitting arrangements!) without my knowledge.
- When I mention that I didn't bring food from home and I'm not looking forward to leaving the office to get lunch, tell me that you have an extra sandwich and Fresca in the kitchen and insist that I take them off your hands.
- Say in your cutest two and a half year old voice, "I miss you, Mama! You miss me too much?"
- Try to assure me those things that pop up when I flex my arms are muscles, even though I know they're just tendons.