"The horse was lean and lank. Misfortune seemed his lot. We got into a drifted bank and then we got upsot."
Growing up, I always thought they just changed it from "upset" to "upsot" so that it would rhyme. But now that I'm a little older I know that... well, truth be told, I have no idea what "upsot" means.
Deck The Halls
I still don't know if it's "troll" or "toll" the ancient yuletide carol.
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
He sees me when I'm sleeping? Creepy.
The Twelve Days of Christmas
Let's face it, there are so many things wrong this song (like, who wants a bunch of guys in leotards jumping around the dinner table while they're trying to eat... which has always been the image that pops into my head when I hear "lords a-leaping") but one of the strangest things about it in my opinion is all the birds.
Wouldn't that just be the WORST CHRISTMAS EVER? By the time day four rolls around you know they're thinking, "Enough with the damn birds! Can we just get to the gold rings, already?"
It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
"They'll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago."
Ghost stories? Um... wrong holiday, dude.
Do You Hear What I Hear
"Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king, Do you know what I know? In your palace wall mighty king, do you know what I know? A child, a child shivers in the cold. Let us bring him silver and gold."
The kid is naked and freezing. Should we take him a blanket? Nope. Maybe a space heater or something? Nah. What about some silver and gold? Yeah, that's just what he needs... some BLING!
Baby, It's Cold Outside
"The neighbors might think"
"Baby, it's bad out there"
"Say, what's in this drink"
"No cabs to be had out there"
"I wish I knew how"
"Your eyes are like starlight now"
"To break this spell"
"I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell"
"I ought to say no, no, no, sir"
"Mind if I move a little closer"
"At least I'm gonna say that I tried"
"What's the sense in hurting my pride"
"I really can't stay"
"Baby don't hold out"
"Aah, but it's cold outside"
This whole thing seems a little sketchy to me. Put your hat back on and go home, lady. It's not that cold.