Morgan refused to sleep with me last night. As in: literally screamed at me when I tried to put her down in my bed. She doesn't normally sleep in our bed anymore but Adam was working a graveyard shift and I thought that the warmth of another person in my bed sounded nice. Morgan, however, felt differently and made it very clear that she would NOT be sleeping with me. Like, suck it up, Mom. You're a big girl.
And she's right. I'm no stranger to sleeping alone so I wasn't too put out by the fact that I'd be flying solo again. What bothered me is how adamantly she opposed the idea. Should this be happening so soon? Shouldn't she still jump at the chance to sleep in my bed? I mean it's pretty much a total party, what with the TV and the occasional cookie in bed and everything. (Shhh, don't tell Adam.)
I know it won't be long before she thinks I'm totally uncool and I'll have to follow her to school in my ratty pajamas with curlers in my hair and beg her to love me in front of her peers. (I don't use curlers, but I'd make an exception for something like that.) But I like to pretend that day is a long, long, very long way into the future -- that she'll want to hang out with me for many years to come. It's hard to believe I have very much time left when my two year old is looking me directly in the eyes and sternly saying, "No, Mama! Sleep in crib!"
Ouch. She might as well just rip my heart out right now and get it over with. No sense in waiting until puberty.
But then tonight she didn't want to leave my side. I could have made a much bigger dent in that mountain of dishes if I hadn't been holding her on my hip the whole time. But I just couldn't resist those big blue eyes and that sweet little voice saying, "Hold you me. Hold you me." And then at bedtime, after we said prayers, she crawled into my lap and wrapped her arms tightly around neck. Last night's rejection was completely forgotten and my heart turned to butter when she said, "Need you, Mama".
And just for that I promise that when I chase her to school carrying the sack lunch she left behind and then force her to kiss me goodbye in front of her friends, I will at least make sure I've brushed my teeth.