Monday, January 31, 2011

How To

HOW TO ANNOY ME:
  • Undress yourself entirely, then pee all over your legs and the carpet... all in the 2.4 seconds I have my back turned to grab a diaper.
  • Use the word "guesstimate".
  • Poop in the bathtub.
  • After witnessing one of my coughing fits, tell me I need to "switch brands". You're not nearly as funny as you think you are. And by the way, your comb over looks like a dead ferret.
  • Go ahead and let your kid stand on the front seat while you're driving through town. It's not like it's dangerous or anything.


HOW TO CHARM ME:
  • After pooping in the bathtub, redeem yourself by scrunching up your nose, frantically waving your hands and saying, "Eeeewwwwww!"
  • Refrain from making fun of me even though I'm eating curry for breakfast... again.
  • Tell me I married a great guy. Of course I already know that, but I never get sick of hearing it.
  • Offer me a glass of wine from the bottle you just pulled out of your purse.
  • Shyly ask me if we can please watch Grey's Anatomy reruns after the baby goes to bed. It's okay sweetheart, I promise not to tell anyone you like watching Grey's Anatomy. Or Sex and the City.

4 comments:

  1. HUGS! Will you be at the walk in SLC? Shhh I won't tell, my husband and I let our two year old watch Sex In The City reruns with us.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Evan makes fun of me for watching Grey's Anatomy, but watches it with me and asks all sorts of questions and gets drawn in. Plus, I let Kyle watch it with me until last week---he tried to make-out with me. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ah... the poop in the tub, my kiddo hasn't done that for a while, but she would totally freak out--like she thought the poop was going to get her or something.

    She used to randomly tell people: No poop in the tub!

    Yeah, she heard that a lot for a while.

    ReplyDelete

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