If you know Adam, I'm sure you'll understand why my reaction to this was "Who are you, and what have you done with my husband?" If you don't know him, let me just tell you that this is more than a little out of character for him.
This brilliant idea was coming from the man who avoids going to Wal Mart on weekends because the lines are a bit longer than usual; whose blood pressure skyrockets when people stand just a little too close to him; who, no matter how much he wants to see a movie, will wait until it is released on DVD just so he can avoid listening to people in the movie theater crunching on popcorn. The People Hater wants to go to the biggest, most crowded, most people-trampling-craptastic sale of the year.
"I don't think you're comprehending just how many people there will be, honey. You're going to HATE it," I told him.
"It'll be okay," he said.
"You realize that I'm going to be totally useless, right? I'm not going to shove people out of the way, or punch someone in the face to get a toy. In fact, I'll probably ride in the cart the whole time just to be sure I'm not trampled to death."
"And as soon as you start complaining that it's too crowded or that I'm not helping enough, I'm going to bring up this conversation, then make fun of you on my blog. You are aware of that, right?"
So, I guess we're going shopping on Friday. If you are
Chances are, that man will be packing heat.