HOW TO ANNOY ME:
- Tell me you need another sputum culture because none of the last three have made it down to the lab yet.
- Ask me to stick my finger in that pulse oximeter when I know darn well you haven't sanitized it yet.
- Wake me up at 4:30 am for a blood draw.
- Wake me up ANYTIME, EVER for a blood draw.
- Have me pee in a plastic hat for two days, then admit that you must have misread my chart because you never needed to collect my urine in the first place.
HOW TO WOO ME:
- Help me wrap my engorged breasts, bring me ice packs for them, and check in on me the next day just to see how my boobs are doing.
- Understand that I NEED a coke like no one has EVER needed a coke in the history of the world.
- Ask if I need some ice cream when I mention how much I miss my baby.
- Remember that I prefer cranberry juice to pink lemonade, apple juice to orange, and that I always, always want milk with my meal, then prepare my food trays accordingly. Way to go, food guy!
- Tell me I'm an "easy" patient and that I remind you of why you chose a career in the medical field.