Wednesday, May 19, 2010

How To

HOW TO ANNOY ME:
-Go ahead and continue driving in the passing lane, although you have no intention of passing anyone. Ever.
-You know that SCR-EEE-EEE-EEEE-MING thing you do every time I leave the room? Enough said.
-Use the word "AIN'T" one more time.
-Kiss me while I'm on the toilet. I love you too honey, but there MUST be boundaries.
-Buy my child a toy that sings. One that plays music? Fine. One that makes noise? Great. But one that actually sings? Have you no soul?


HOW TO WOO ME:
-Just nod your head and smile when I blame the crumbs you found in bed on the Cookie Monster.
-Openly admit that you watch America's Next Top Model...and enjoy it. Welcome to the dark side.
-Talk to yourself about BURIED TREASURES when you think nobody is listening.
-Blame your farts on "the elephants".
-Blame your farts on "the really big spiders hiding in the wall".
-Tell me you have a big massage therapy final coming up, then ask if you can study by giving me a foot massage.

4 comments:

  1. so whenever chris finds a new thing that bugs me, he makes it his quest in life to do it (ie, sticking his finger in my belly button) I can't tell you all the ways he has tried to get me to kiss him while I'm on the toilet. I agree though, that just crosses the line of weird.

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  2. Haha my hubby tries to kiss me when I'm on the toilet as well lmao

    Oh and sorry I'm from the south I say "aint" all the time lol. But I'll try not to use that word in my blog :)

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  3. You could always just lock the door. Just a thought.

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  4. Toilets are OFF boundaries :P I love your 'how-to- posts.

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