HOW TO ANNOY ME:
-Go ahead and continue driving in the passing lane, although you have no intention of passing anyone. Ever.
-You know that SCR-EEE-EEE-EEEE-MING thing you do every time I leave the room? Enough said.
-Use the word "AIN'T" one more time.
-Kiss me while I'm on the toilet. I love you too honey, but there MUST be boundaries.
-Buy my child a toy that sings. One that plays music? Fine. One that makes noise? Great. But one that actually sings? Have you no soul?
HOW TO WOO ME:
-Just nod your head and smile when I blame the crumbs you found in bed on the Cookie Monster.
-Openly admit that you watch America's Next Top Model...and enjoy it. Welcome to the dark side.
-Talk to yourself about BURIED TREASURES when you think nobody is listening.
-Blame your farts on "the elephants".
-Blame your farts on "the really big spiders hiding in the wall".
-Tell me you have a big massage therapy final coming up, then ask if you can study by giving me a foot massage.