Monday, March 22, 2010

How To

HOW TO ANNOY ME:
-Pretend that you know exactly how this healthcare reform is going to affect the country, and more specifically, how it will affect me personally.
-Tell me I have an adorable little BOY, and then ask how old HE is.
-Ask how my family is doing, then cut me off by telling me what a jerk your husband is.
-Break the silence by saying "I've been having some testicular problems lately". And then proceed to tell me, in detail, with pencil sketches and everything, how something went terribly wrong with your vasectomy 10 years ago and things haven't been the same down there ever since.
-Tell me you've chosen a name for my nephew, but I'll have to wait until he's born to find out what it is.

HOW TO WOO ME:
-Tell me you've chosen a name for my nephew, but I'll have to wait until he's born to find out what it is. (On second thought, I LOVE the element of surprise!)
-Meet me in the driveway when I get home from work and ask if I'd like to take a walk with you to enjoy the sunny afternoon.
-Get the baby out of her crib when she wakes up crying and bring her to me before I even have the chance to get my sleepy bum off the bed.
- Don't get upset with me for taking an extra long shower and using up all the hot water.
- Give me slobbery, open-mouthed, baby kisses followed by blowing slobbery raspberries on my cheek.

2 comments:

  1. Ha - in our house it's actually my husband who takes looooooooooooooooooooooooooooong showers!

    I grew up going to early morning seminary (ugh)... I have to really work to take a long shower after that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Heathecare reform is going to screw us and most likely take my job away!!! Just thought i'd pass a little anoyance along this morning.

    ReplyDelete

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