Thursday, January 21, 2010

The VEST: I may be sharing a little too much here

 A couple weeks ago a friend of ours stopped by just as I was sitting down to use my VEST. As we talked I casually began buckling up the vest and hooking up the tubes; it wasn't until the vest had inflated and began rapidly vibrating that I noticed the confused look on my friends face. "WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?" he asked.

Oh yeah. Sometimes I forget that vesting isn't a normal part of everyone's day.

I have a love/hate relationship with the VEST. For instance: when I cough and cough all day and can't seem to get anything up, then I sit down and have a really exceptional session with the VEST and before you know it, I'm getting all sorts of stuff up. I can't even tell you how much I love the VEST when this happens! (Another thing people unfamiliar with CF don't understand--my fascination with the junk that I spit up. Color, consistency, amount, etc.) I posess a very real appreciation for the VEST and what it does for my health.

Even still, a part of me HATES the VEST! And that part of me happens to be my boobs. The women in my family are not small chested. Thanks, I suppose, to my maternal grandmother, my Grandma Calhoon. Although if she's where the boobs come from, I suspect she may be where all the crazy in the family comes from, too. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, BOOBS. It's amazing how as the VEST inflates I can actually watch my boobs squish right up to my chin. Then as the air starts pulsing through it they begin to resemble two giant jello-filled balloons. As if it wasn't uncomfortable enough already, about five months ago those already pretty big boobs turned into REALLY BIG breastfeeding boobs. Just imagine all that squishing and shaking and bouncing, then add milk...copious amounts of milk. It's just not pleasant.

Although many people I know are aware of the fact that I have CF, I think very few actually know what that means. They are vaguely aware that there may be 'something wrong' with me, and that seems to suffice them. My friend who I mentioned earlier had always been one of those people, but seeing something so foreign to him got him asking questions and we ended up having a really great talk about CF and life in general.

Then, although (or perhaps because) I know how inappropriate it is, I JUST COULDN'T HELP MYSELF and so I ended that very serious conversation by looking down and asking "So...anybody want a milkshake?"


  1. Oh man, I hear you! I actually had a similar experience recently - I started putting on the vest in front of a relative who obviously had never seen it before. She looked at me like I'd grown two heads...

    And I know just what you mean about the cleavage problem. I always say the Vest is the best pushup bra out there... geez! Oh, and you're not alone in being fascinated by your spit.

  2. Jenny, first of all Let me say thank you for taking the time to read my blog :) I also enjoy connecting with other CFers and I am soo looking forward to reading your story. This post made me laugh out loud, just for the simple fact that i can so relate :) In fact one of my friends was in my room yesterday when i strapped on my vest and she looked at me like i was insane. She has seen my vest at my house, but had never actually seen it in action. It was def a learning exp for her ~lol~ Looking forward to getting to know you better!! Have a great night :)

  3. Hey Jenny, it's Lacey. I haven't talked to you in forever. How are you doing?

  4. hahaha This really made me laugh! :)
    People like to hear me talk while I do my vest, they think it is so amusing! haha

  5. Ok Jenny I am so glad I found your blog. Your baby is getting so big!! She is so dang cute! Besides working with you, now I can know how things are in your life!

  6. Makes me think of that song... My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard... or something like that ;)

    The vest does the same thing to me I am not a fan! We have a better secret than Victoria I tell ya ;)


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